Tora Bora – Afghanistan’s New Tourist Attraction

December 7th, 2004

The British Telegraph is reporting that the Afghan Civil Aviation and Tourism Ministry is planning on developing the Tora Bora mountains into a tourist attraction.

“Tourism was once a major industry for Afghanistan. In the 1960s and 1970s the country was a key stopping point on the Hippy Trail from Europe to India – famed for its spectacular scenery, ancient ruins and local intoxicants.”

Alright.

Now imagine if you will, a group of shirtless American tourists (let’s say: Republican males from Texas), aged 50-60, sporting black sunglasses, cowboy hats, and tropically-patterned Hawaiin shorts (a look they so naturally are comfortable in even in a covered Muslim country) collecting “souvenirs” from the mountains of Tora Bora.

Welcome to your choice of Tora Bora souvenirs: warm fertile mud, a refreshingly high altitude, Osama’s dialysis machine, and highly explosive remainders of the American B-52s “Daisy-Cutter” bombs.
Or for more innocent souvenirs, and for the entertainment pleasure of their own young, they could enthusiastically collect a few of those butterfly-like “toys” that the Russians ever so graciously plotted all over Afghanistan for the eradication of Afghan kids.

Ultimately no matter what is collected, they would be actively engaging in Afghanistan’s de-mining efforts. And that is a raison d’être both for transforming Tora Bora into a tourist attraction and incorporating a voluntary draft for such shirtless American tourists.

Along that same generous token, other allies in the 2001 war against Afghanistan should get visas and invitations as well, so they can collect and bring back with them the dangerous goods they so altruistically bestowed upon Afghanistan.

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